Been talking to people about the last post and also doing my own soul searching (what to do? the honest grouch is championing 'balanced' life).
I admit I am addicted to the whole adrenalin rush : the pressure, the stress, the challenge of beating the deadline, of solving the puzzle, of pushing myself to do more than humanly possible : it's become a habit, a way of life. And I love it cos it makes me feel alive. Makes me feel triumphant - that I've beaten the odds and Oh My God YES! I've done it!
I love it when at the end of the day, I fall soundly asleep in minutes - it means I've played hard, worked hard all day, given myself fully to the day, squeezed out every drop! That's when I feel satisfied. Can rest, no worries.
Yes, it's been tough on my family. If there was one thing I would have done differently, it would be that I would have taken the time and trouble to involve Mom a lot more in my work - I would share with her all my ups and downs (like how I share with my husband now) so that she will feel involved in my life rather than alienated. Yes, I was a cold-hearted bitch when I was younger.
I agree with Rae that when I am pursuing my passion whole heartedly, my loved ones will support that and be proud.
Like my husband does (dear - i give you goosebumps ah? hahahahaha..)
Hey, to those of you who took time to post your comments - many, many thanks!