Saturday, April 23, 2011

Be Here Now

Last night, I went to the SS2 durian stalls for a loooong-awaited feast ;P

At the next table, there was a man, all by himself, enjoying a durian, with a look of pure rapture on his face. He seemed lost in his own private Heaven. Nothing else mattered but him and the piece of durian in his hand.

Two Lessons I take from this ...

1. Be Here Now : Be fully present, give my full attention to whatever it is that I am doing and truly appreciate the experience. When I do, I can't help but feel this tremendous sense of gratitude to God for creating such wonder. Then, I am happy :)

2. If I want to do something, just do it! I've been pestering Sonny and Sue to feed me durian. And I've been waiting for weeks! But here is this guy who came on his own. He didn't need anyone to accompany him, he is just happy to spend his time doing his own thing. And enjoying it so much! Wow!

For me, the durian thing was not that big a deal. But the question for myself is, where else in my life do I stop myself from enjoying what I love just because I don't want to do it alone? What would I do if there was nothing to stop me?

Hmmm... interesting...

Monday, April 18, 2011

My New Understanding of Breakfast

I used to think it was a luxury. I'll make it for Sonny, but not for myself. Now, after all the work I've been doing with Master Isis, breakfast has new meaning for me.

Now, spending 20 minutes to make myself something yummy in the morning is an affirmation that I am worth it. It is a declaration that I have time! I have time to smell the roses and eat delicious food. The phase of frantic overwork and struggle is over. I know my day will be sorted everytime I start the day with my new morning routine : prayer, reading & self-reflection, meditation and breakfast.

This means, I fill myself up first so I have more to give to the day ahead. Fuel up, so I can have full energy for the day ahead. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?!

And what do I fill myself up with?

Breakfast enhances my appreciation and gratitude to God and Mother Nature. It is an affirmation of God's Greatness and Magnificence in creating such wonders for me (all of us) to enjoy. As I fill my tummy, I also fill my whole being with a sense of wonder and gratitude to God.

What better way to start the day?

:) :) :)

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Choose My Battles

In my past, stepping up the challenge was the 'thing' for me. It took courage to say Yes! I accept this challenge even though I don't have any evidence that I can win.

This attitude has brought me great success. I have achieved things that I never ever thought I could do. It has worked for me. Throughout my entire advertising career, my training career and even now at 95%, this is what makes me successful.

But I am at a new place in my life now : I want a more peaceful, joyful life. And I want this without having to compromise on my vision.

I am no stranger to hard work. And this has brought me good results. But there have also been sacrifices - I have less time and energy to spend on the battles that really matter: being with Mom, working on Kenny's pardon, being with Dad, Sonny, my friends.

By big aha moment this morning is, when I channel my heart, my time and energy into battles I am not likely to win is a waste of my TIME, my ENERGY, MY LIFE.

Life is precious. My time is precious. My energy is precious. I want to use what I have to achieve my Vision and at the same time take care of my family, my friends and still have time and energy left to just simply enjoy life.

The answer is : CHOOSE MY BATTLES.

No need to prove that I have the courage to step up. No need to prove I have faith and confidence in myself. I know that already. Now, step back and choose. If I have nothing left to prove, what would I do?

Do nothing that serves no purpose.

Ask myself, what is the purpose of doing this? What can I achieve? Is it worth my time? My precious life?

Do less work, but do more meaningful work. So I will be less busy, more effective.

Friday, February 11, 2011

If the next 24 hours were your last, what would you do?

Source: Daily Guidance from your Angel Oracle Cards
by Doreen Virtue, PH.D.

I would work all the stiffness out of my body and I would pray and meditate. Pray for Kenny. Then I would do my best to be fully aware of each breath, each chirp of the birds, each tremble and pulse in the world around me.

I remember Master Choa Kok Sui saying that proper meditation is concentration and awareness. To have just one would be unbalanced.

So what if I were to live each day in this state : being aware of the preciousness of life, 24 hours at a time.

When I checked in to The Golden Space's angel cards, this was the one I received. Very apt :)

Click on the title to visit their lovely site.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

A dream come true

Sometime last year I declared to myself that I want to stand for our graduates to win in the main categories, and not just student awards. It's a much tougher challenge and a bigger dream.

Tonight at the Effies, I was so proud when Lucideas won a Bronze. Then when they announced that they also won a Gold, my heart leapt for joy. A Gold Effie says a lot. Unlike Kancil Awards where about a hundred entries win, Effies only had 28 finalists and gave out 4 Golds.

Unfortunately I didn't hear who the other three winners were because I was too busy hugging them and wiping away my tears. Why did I suddenly decide to wear mascara tonight???

Just as I went back to my seat, another graduate, Dave, came up and showed me his Bronze Effie. His very first! And he's only been working as a copywriter for about a year. It's a wonderful achievement. OMG, again, my heart almost burst with pride.

Sigh, I am so proud of them all, and I just can't stop smiling :) :) :)

Now for Junkie Jenn's good news next...

Sunday, September 26, 2010


At last, now I understand...

In the past 10 years, whenever I wanted something, I would apply the skills and tools I learnt from various masters - focus my thoughts, visualise, draw it out, write it in red, think about it the first thing every morning and the last thing before I fall asleep, take action aligned to doing it and having it... and sometimes it works, but many, many times it doesn't. I've gone vegetarian, assigned karma, paid for pujas, done the Law of Attraction thingy... many, many different things.

And yet, the results seem to be random, unpredictable, uncontrollable. There have been many painful disappointments, many crushing failures.

I attended the Manifesting Money Metaphysically workshop by Sophia Catha yesterday, and I finally realised why I sometimes don't get what I want : my physical vibration and consciousness is not aligned to the vibration that is required to hold/maintain/support the things I want.

Another master, Isis, Dr. Carolyne Fuqua, taught me this, but I didn't get it until yesterday. I need to keep my vibration in the upper realm, and not allow myself to sucked into the lower vibrations.

The higher vibrations are created by thoughts and feelings of love, peace, joy, abundance and generosity. The lower vibrations are fear, desperation, disappointment, anger, frustration, all those too familiar grungies :(

How to shift to a higher vibration? Pray. Meditate. Control my thoughts because they dictate my emotions. Purify my present and past issues so that I clean out some space for new energies to come in. Practise, get feedback, and keep working.

Don't allow what I perceive through my 5 senses to dictate how I feel. The evidence I see in the physical world around me, will only get me down. Hold my vision. Hold the energy of higher vibration.

This reminds me of what Donald Trump said when he was asked how he felt when he made losses and debts that ran into billions. He said "I feel pretty much the same as how I feel when I make millions."

This is not about being in denial or living in a fake happy positivity; I interpret this as having unshakeable faith in himself and his power to manifest. With strong steady faith, there is no need to feel lousy just because the results are poor. Results are just feedback that something is not working - so just fix it, and keep going for the goal.

Wheras for me, I go down the tube of "what's wrong with me?" Hahaha!

So referring to my earlier post about me and money, I now realise that I repel money, money doesn't stick to me because my vibration is not aligned to having prosperity.

When I look at my behaviour with my 5 senses, I see that I am wasteful, not responsible, not aware of the value of money. All these are judgements that make me feel bad about myself.

When I shared this with Sophia, she said I waste my money, I spend it all or generously give it all away, because I AM NOT COMFORTABLE with having money. My vibration is not high enough to match the vibration of prosperity.

Why? I still have beliefs that money is bad. Being rich brings separation, alienation and loneliness. Aha! A deeper discovery about myself and money.

Last week, someone said to me "You come from a well-off family, you don't need money. So you don't chase it. That is selfish, because the rest of us need money."


This reinforced my belief that if I have money, I am not like 'the rest of us'. If I have money, I am an outcast. This was my experience in primary school. I was always lonely. I was laughed at for having a driver come pick me up. I missed out on the fun my friends had when they were waiting for the school bus. I didn't know how to take public transport, didn't know how to order food at coffee shops, didn't have the same pens, pencils, pencil boxes, hair clips, watch, purse, school bag, as the rest of my closest friends.

It's not that my parents bought me expensive stuff. They received gifts from their friends and passed them on to me. When I was 16, I received a Piaget diamond-encrusted watch. I hid it away in embarrasment. Mom would give me the expensive bags that her friends gave her - but I wanted the cheap plastic ones that my friends were using instead.

That's exactly the same pattern as my Dad wanting to buy me a BMW but I chose a Kelisa instead. Hahahah! Well, at least now I know. Duh!

Same thing with my spiritual development. When I regularly practise, I feel separated from the people closest to me. So I stop. I stop because I don't want to leave people behind. I don't want to be alone.

As I write this, I remember an exercise I went through during my One Vision training : I got it, my partner didn't, the only way I could move forward was to go back and bring her with me. The feeling of 'flying' together with her was just simply beautiful! No longer alone, I had someone to share my experience with!

THIS is the reality I want to create now.

So it is not being rich, or being spiritual that alienates me. It is going it alone, not bringing people with me. Not looking back. Just being self-centered and thinking only of myself. THIS causes separation and aloneness.

So I will share. I will continuously work on myself, and not stop. And I will share, and do all I can to guide others to learn and grow too. As I am guided, I too shall guide.

I thank the people who have pointed this out to me. Although it was painful at that time, I would not have learnt this if you had not been honest and open with me back then.

Now, it's time for my second cup of coffee :)
Have an awesomely abundant week. Thank you so much for reading my blog.
I am honoured that you are interested in what I have to share. Thank you.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Sometimes, fantasy stories are not that far-fetched at all

I love the Tree of Souls in Pandora. I love how the Dals in the David Eddings' Mallorean series share a collective consciousness. Every thought, action, experience that is experienced by an individual is experienced by the entire species. Wow!

(gosh... i suddenly realised there's a cat curled up in our closet -_-)

I've always thought it would be such a wonderful thing if we could somehow record every lesson, every achievement, every insight and experience that the human race has ever encountered and have it stored somewhere for our easy access when needed.

Ok, I suppose the geeks would say - wikipedia! Hmm.

But what is also true is that the people who touch us, DO stay with us. The experiences they share ARE recorded within us, for easy access when we need it.

We are, each and every one of us, a branch of the Tree of Souls. Every encounter with the people in our lives are stored within us.

Whenever I'm cooking or doing anything around the home, I hear mom's voice guiding me. Everything she has learnt about cooking, and sewing, and family, and life, lives on through me. They make me who I am.

Whenever I'm at work, everything I've learnt from my previous bosses, mentors, colleagues, comes back to guide me. Things that worked as well as things that didn't work, they all form a kind of collective wisdom within me. There are many moments when I ask myself - what would Peter in all his benevolent wisdom do? How would Agnes move us out of a rut? What outrageous ideas would TL come up with? What would Neil French say? Rob Speechley? Steve Matthews? Kim Fernando? Ai Shih? They all come back to me, when I need them. Either showing me what to do, or what not to do, as I make my own decisions.

In crisis as well as in random quiet moments, the teachings of Master Choa Kok Sui, Bettie Sprueil, Isis, Shyalpa Rinpoche, Paolo Coelho, Neale Donald Walsch, all surface to guide me.

These are the individuals who have touched me directly. Now expand this a little farther... the lessons of Hitler, Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Donald Trump, hahaha... even the Top Chef Masters and some of the Project Runway designers, are within me too.

So maybe this is the ultimate purpose of all our lives : to experience and learn as much as we possibly can, and add to the collective consciousness of humanity. Maybe that's why our lives take such different turns. People have such different paths to walk... because their mission is to contribute that particular experience to our pool.

So we must share. If not, our experiences are not added to the pool. We must share so that the collective consciousness grows.

(it's getting hard to type cos Wabi has crawled into my arms and is sucking on my t-shirt - he's a heavy cat!)

It's no point trying to live someone else's life - that would be duplicating the experience that someone else has already contributed to the collective pool. Nothing new is added, the collective pool doesn't grow.

We must direct the course of our own lives. Draw on the collective wisdom to make our own choices - this is how we create new experiences. And when we share, we enrich humanity.

Lately, i've thought it would be nice to have a daughter to pass mom's wisdom to. Mom's wisdom combined with mine. The way mom looked after grandma in her last days was a kinda subconscious guide to how I looked after mom when her own time came.

I was not even conscious of it at that time - it just seemed like the right thing to do. It is only now as I write that I am recalling Mom's long days and nights at the hospital and how she completed the mother-daughter journey with her mom. Mine was different yet has similarities.

How did I know I had to stop sleeping by her side, stop being the one to hold her hand, so that she can take her leave? Grandma's moment of passing came when mom stepped out of the hospital room and onto the balcony for a breath of air. Just as grandma couldn't leave while mom was in the room, I knew mom couldn't leave as long as I was sleeping by her side, holding her hand.

And yet, I created a completely new experience : I was out of her room for most of the last day. When I was in the room, we were all laughing and joking. There was distance. There was a 'letting go'. And yet, I was there when she stopped breathing. I was talking to her, monitoring her pulse and when I said the words 'Goodbye mom' her pulse suddenly stopped. It was perfect.

So I believe that sometimes we spontaneously know what to do because at some level we are tapping into the collective consciousness of all of humankind's experiences. It is all there within us, regardless of whether we are aware of it or not.

I don't have a daughter, but Maxine and Mellissa were there taking turns to hold mom's hand, so I know that one day, they will add their own experiences to this. I hope they will share it as I am sharing mine, so that someone somewhere can access it when it is needed.

Whoever you are, whatever you have experienced, please share.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Robin Sharma got me thinking..

He tweeted this : @_robin_sharma I'm so much more interested in how many people you've developed vs how much money you've made.

It came at the right time. I'm going through one of those spells where I wonder why I am not chasing money as much as I think I should. Hah, that last sentence is a symptom of the great muddle in my mind.

I think I should be chasing money. But then I find that I'm not. I find I am putting more energy into long term branding activities and building my team. Then we fall short of target. Then I think there is something wrong with me. Then I get all grouchy and miserable. How can we sustain our business if I am not money-minded?

So when Robin Sharma's tweet came, it stopped me in my tracks. I read it again and again. At first I thought it meant that developing people is important than making money. Ya, that's so me -_- But as I sat with that thought, I realised that it made me uncomfortable.

You know how a truth will ring true? That light bulb moment? Well, I didn't experience that.

Instead a little nagging voice asked - what does this really mean ah? Do charity work ah? Train people at whatever fee they can afford? Is this what I really want? No, something doesn't feel right about this way of thinking. It's not what I want at all.

So I asked myself, is there another way to look at this? Maybe it goes back to WHY I want to make money. The immediate answer that came to me is 'so that I can re-invest and expand and be able to develop more people'. OK, sounds like a good answer. Is this true for me?

How do I really feel about money?

I think I have a pretty distant relationship with money and wealth. I went shopping last weekend, determined to buy a good designer bag. I found a DKNY that I liked. It cost RM590. That was within my budget. But I continued looking. I found the same bag in a different colour at Parkson and it was on sale - only RM241. And I had RM70 worth of discount vouchers. So it would only cost me RM171. I should have been happy - but no, I continued looking.

Hours later, I found a bag that I liked so much I immediately wanted it, even without asking the price. It was perfect for me - the right colour, design and size. How much was it? RM60. I am happy. Completely satisfied. I bought matching shoes (that were really comfy) and I happily went home.

Haha, I just remembered : apparently, some time ago, dad wanted to buy me a BMW and I said no, I want a Kelisa. Funny thing is, I don't even remember this conversation! It was Sonny who brought it up years later - he witnessed this exchange and was left dumbstruck. It didn't leave an impression on me but it obviously traumatised him!

Why don't I like expensive things? What's wrong with me? I know this mindset drives my two partners crazy. This is holding us back, keeping us small and struggling. Because I don't believe in paying an excessive amount of money for the things I buy - I feel dreadfully uncomfortable about charging our clients on a scale that is aligned to what Shahnaz and Peter want to charge. I just cannot see how to justify a high price. I can't appreciate the value. Or rather, I am unable to translate the value I see to $$$. It's a blind spot for me.

This is my inner conflict.

I know that what we do is important and valuable. I know I can do NGO work instead, no need to make lots of money, just live frugally and I will be happy. I experienced this when I set up Peace Please Sdn Bhd. I've also experienced the other extreme during my early advertising days - earning big bucks and spending like there' s no tomorrow.

What I am committed to create now is a combination of both. Earning big bucks while living moderately. Getting paid well for doing something that adds value to people's lives. I set up 95% to prove that this is possible. I refuse to believe that people have to choose between money and values. Some companies have already started operating this way - I want to do it too.

But if I get paid for doing something good, does that make it less good?

Maybe this is why Donald Trump and Bill Gates set up charitable foundations. So when they make money, they are completely clear that their intention is to maximise profit. Then they pour a percentage into pure charity. Nicely compartmentalised. No conflict.

But even this doesn't feel right for me.

I want both to happen simultaneously - I want it to be a complete, wholistic way of life. Giving and receiving in abundance as a natural cycle. THIS is what I want.

Yes, the work I do to develop people will always be more interesting than the money I make - but BOTH are important and I am committed to improve my competence in both areas simultaneously.

*... sigh ... *

Ok, I'm done for now. Conclusion : this is bugging me now. I will pay attention and keep exploring within myself. Conflict and discomfort means I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I am in the realm of 'I don't know' and that's a scary yet exciting place.

That's a sign of growth. I am committed to grow myself, my business. One belief that works for me is, the more I grow myself, the more I have to give. To stay in balance, I open myself to also increase my capacity to receive.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Mind vs The Heart

This morning at about 7-ish, Sonny was awakened by his cousin's phone call. Sonny's uncle was in critical condition, expected to pass on in a few hours.

We got dressed and went directly to the hospital. Being back in the ICU, after mom and Sonny's dad, I thought I would feel upset, but all I felt was a sense of familiarity and concern for the family.

Mom's very prolonged and peaceful death has done a lot to change my perception of this thing called death.

Have you ever noticed how people shy away from using that word? Yes, it's a sad event, no matter how we try to make it seem better. And we have come up with so many things to say, to make things seem better: They've gone to a better place. There's no pain, no suffering. They're in Heaven now.

And yet, the families will still miss them dreadfully. No matter how the logical mind insists that this is the way it's meant to be, the emotional heart will still grieve.

The Mind says "Death is inevitable".

The Heart says "Yes, I know, but it hurts!"

The Mind says "You must let go and move on."

The Heart says "But I don't want to lose this loved one. I don't want to lose this love."

The Mind says "You cannot hold on."

The Heart says "I know, I know. And I will let go. Feeling the sadness, expressing the pain does not mean I won't let go. I will. Just don't ask me to not feel. Console me by crying with me. Not by telling me I musn't cry."

Why are we so afraid of losing our composure?

Because we get judged. When I cry about mom, my family looks at me as if I am handicapped. No, No, cannot cry anymore. We wouldn't want her to have continued being alive to suffer. So must not cry, must not be sad. La-la-la-la-la... let's put on a happy face for each other and help each other deny the sadness, deny the grief.

I can understand why it's so easy for families to drift apart. Every one grieves in their own way. Every one has their own way of coping. It is difficult. And by expecting everyone to be the same as me, I only make things worse.

Last Monday was June 14th - the anniversary of mom's death. I learnt to respect my family and give them the space to cope in whatever way they are comfortable with. And respect myself to do it in my way.

Now, it is Uncle Lui's family that has to learn to cope. May God be with them all. May God's Blessings guide Uncle Lui peacefully home.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Awesome Saturday

On Friday evening, Felicia sent me an sms asking if I wanted to join them at the Hot Air Balloon Fair in Putrajaya on Saturday. Although I had errands lined up, I couldn't help but say YES!!!! 

I was so excited the whole night. I told Dad and Sonny, and all Dad said was 
"Don't fall out." -_-
Haha, I was so looking forward to the experience of going up in a balloon, even if it is tethered.

So bright and early, we met up at 95%, packed ourselves into Sue's car and happily took off. There were six of us : Sue, Felicia, Grace, Chee Chiaw, his friend Stephen and me. All  quite high even though it was only 9am.
As we got to Putrajaya, we were thrilled to see 3 or 4 balloons soaring above some buildings. Even more thrilling was the sight of a flock of paramotors - like para-gliders but with a motor. We ALL wanted to get on one of those. Wheeee..!!
We quickly parked and tumbled out. 
Then as we walked towards the balloons, disappointment set in. Tickets were sold out. Apparently ticket sales started at 7.30am. We didn't know :( 
Anyway, we went closer and realised that the balloons actually don't go very high up. And there were so few :( After taking the customary photos, we went to explore the rest of the fair. Within half an hour, we were done -_-

The paramotors were there as demo only. They were promoting lessons and certification. No rides available.
There so so many people there but there nothing much happening. Why??? 

I saw two interesting things though...
1. A stall selling clothes had tudungs (headscarfs) of all colours right next to skimpy tank tops. Huh??? Same person buys both?

2. A very creative soap. Positioned as 'fights sleepiness'!! Hahaha, it stopped us in our tracks and we bought two, just to test it out. 

Talk about a compelling USP! I don't know if it really works, but the write up even provided the 'Reason To Believe'. I can just see the whole Strategy written out! 

Then we got bored and decided to visit Paya Indah Wetlands in Dengkil. I had conducted the YAC completion and graduation there and I had some beautiful memories of the place.
This time, we were not disappointed. The air was still and peaceful. Life slowed down, I felt connected and grounded. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful experience. 
One lake was filled with lotus in full bloom. Another had ducks, geese and swans sailing elegantly around. Well, they were elegant until we came running up. 

Although it was just a brief visit, it did something to me. I am still smiling as I write this. Once in a while, it would be good to just get away and spend a day or two in another world. A still, peaceful world where I can hear the voice of my soul speak to me.

To view all photos, click on the title of this post. They're quite cheesy tho ...

The World Around Me Is A Reflection Of The World Within Me

Now that I've been detoxing for two weeks, I am energised and positive. Calm and aware. I don't feel stuffed and stuck and old and decaying anymore. The difference is surprisingly significant! I know this sounds like a hardsell ad, but it is true! hahaha :) I am feeling so much better, physically as well as emotionally.

And this has caused a chain reaction : First, I detoxed my stomach and intestines. Next, I started qi gong and reiki again. Then I changed my skincare and got a hair cut.  

Now, I am working on my home. Bought ironing board. Started shopping for new curtains, cushions and cushion covers. Finally treated the cats with Mike's miracle Clorox Cure for fleas and ringworm. I've been dreading this! 8 cats is no joke! Anyway, we only managed to do 7, one got away :(

Next, buy exhaust fan. Then give the house a much-needed new coat of paint. And figure out how to prune the trees in the garden. This will let in some sun and dry up the soggy garden.

I know that all these things need to be done, but I've been procrastinating. Work has provided me with a convenient excuse, but I know it is just an excuse. I think part of me was just grungy about having to 'grow up' and take care of the house. Hahaha! I'm 45 years old and still trying to avoid grown up duties!!

Now that I am willing to handle these things, I feel at peace, and closer to both mom and dad. Maybe this is what 'Home is where the heart is' really means. When I put my heart into my home, I am energising it with love. 

Maybe this is what's been causing the huge 'hole' we feel : Mom used to be the one energising the home with her love. Now that she is gone, the home has been feeling so very empty. 

OK, I'll take it up. I've been giving Dad ginger enzyme every morning and he's obediently taking it. He even says it's refreshing! Good la. Although he insists on being independent, this is a sign that he enjoys being taken care of.

There is much to be done, but now that I am willing, it doesn't seem like such an impossible burden anymore. The funny thing is, it started with me taking care of myself internally. That was the key that unlocked this flow.

It's like magic. And guess what? This morning, for the first time, our bougainvillea plants are flowering! We've been trying for so long to get them to flower but every fertiliser and soil trick we've tried has not worked. And now, there are radiant pink flowers! I'll take this as feedback that love is coming alive again in this home :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Do less, BE more.

It is a nice cool morning for a change. It rained all night and the air today is fresh and cool. The birds are singing away as usual, but this morning, I hear them. I am just sitting here, listening to them. My fat little black cat, Sky is curled around the laptop's battery pack, fast asleep, radiating contented vibes. It's a good morning.

There is a stillness within me that hasn't been there for a long while. I've been busily rushing and rushing around. I've been feeling anxious, impatient, and urgent, as though I don't have much time left in this lifetime. I've been feeling 'my days are numbered.' So strange. 

But now, all that has subsided. I think I first realised it on Thursday - I was updating my Facebook status and I asked myself "how am I feeling?" I just felt happy. Not a wild exuberant happiness, just a state of quite contentment. Nice. Hopeful. Everything's going to be alright.

This state is still within me now. I slept really well last night and am now just happy. 

So what happened to cause this change? Maybe it's my enzyme detox and vegetarian diet. I stopped eating meat again - my spiritual teacher used to say that eating meat may cause a sense of hopelessness as the animals somehow know they are going to be slaughtered. 

Maybe it's because I've been having mostly soup and soup and soup, so my body has had a chance to clear out the ton of food that's been accumulating in my tummy and intestines since Christmas!!

Maybe I'm just coming out of a grief-cycle. 

Maybe it's because I've started my morning prayers again.

Maybe the slightly reduced workload is allowing me a little breathing space.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. A lot of maybes. Does it matter? Yes and No.

Yes, because when I know what lifted me, I can do it again next time.

And No, because I have trust in myself, in the people around me, and in God. I trust because my intention is clear. I am here to serve, to love, and to awaken. Someone, somewhere, somehow will trigger the awareness in my consciousness when it is needed. And I know I will be open to see it and receive the guidance. So for now, it doesn't matter. 

I am happy, I am at peace, and I am starting the week by sharing. May you have Peace and Happiness within you this whole week too :)

Ok, Sky is sending you a contented purrrrrrrrr...