Monday, March 15, 2010
It is a nice cool morning for a change. It rained all night and the air today is fresh and cool. The birds are singing away as usual, but this morning, I hear them. I am just sitting here, listening to them. My fat little black cat, Sky is curled around the laptop's battery pack, fast asleep, radiating contented vibes. It's a good morning.
There is a stillness within me that hasn't been there for a long while. I've been busily rushing and rushing around. I've been feeling anxious, impatient, and urgent, as though I don't have much time left in this lifetime. I've been feeling 'my days are numbered.' So strange.
But now, all that has subsided. I think I first realised it on Thursday - I was updating my Facebook status and I asked myself "how am I feeling?" I just felt happy. Not a wild exuberant happiness, just a state of quite contentment. Nice. Hopeful. Everything's going to be alright.
This state is still within me now. I slept really well last night and am now just happy.
So what happened to cause this change? Maybe it's my enzyme detox and vegetarian diet. I stopped eating meat again - my spiritual teacher used to say that eating meat may cause a sense of hopelessness as the animals somehow know they are going to be slaughtered.
Maybe it's because I've been having mostly soup and soup and soup, so my body has had a chance to clear out the ton of food that's been accumulating in my tummy and intestines since Christmas!!
Maybe I'm just coming out of a grief-cycle.
Maybe it's because I've started my morning prayers again.
Maybe the slightly reduced workload is allowing me a little breathing space.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. A lot of maybes. Does it matter? Yes and No.
Yes, because when I know what lifted me, I can do it again next time.
And No, because I have trust in myself, in the people around me, and in God. I trust because my intention is clear. I am here to serve, to love, and to awaken. Someone, somewhere, somehow will trigger the awareness in my consciousness when it is needed. And I know I will be open to see it and receive the guidance. So for now, it doesn't matter.
I am happy, I am at peace, and I am starting the week by sharing. May you have Peace and Happiness within you this whole week too :)
Ok, Sky is sending you a contented purrrrrrrrr...