No heart to write

I haven't blogged cos I just don't have anything to share. I don't want to open my heart and feel cos then I'll miss mom so much. I've been keeping myself busy and tiring myself out. It is my survival tip. Allow the grief to well up in small doses that I can handle without being overwhelmed. It's so very easy to give in to depression and give up everything. I fight it. I fight it with every ounce of will power I have only because I know mom would want me to be ok. And I do it for dad. He needs looking after.