Monday, August 07, 2006

What's My Purpose?



A couple of weeks ago, my Dad was venting : he was just letting off steam, expressing his concern about Mom's health and how she's getting more and more forgetful. When he said "...she can't take care of herself anymore, and all of us are so busy with our own lives" ... I was cut to the core.

I actually thought that maybe I should give up 95%, close down for a while, and look after Mom completely for the next few years. After all, the two months that I spent looking after her, after her stroke, remains a very sweet and precious memory to me. I do love her so very much. But ...

95% is a dream that is already coming true. We've worked so hard to get it up and going that if I stop now, I don't know if I'll ever have the energy to do it all over again later, when I'm older.

Sigh... I felt so guilty for wanting to pursue my dream and leave Mom so alone. What made it worse was that she had 'loaned' me a rather big sum of money to set up 95% - if I close down now, all her money would be just gone. So how? What do I do?

Sigh again ...

That was the self-inflicted drama that I went through then. When I came to my senses, I realised that Mom has always, always wanted us all to lead happy, fulfilled lives. I think it would upset her tremendously if she knew we wanted to give it up for her. If you know my Mom, you'll know that she would never allow that. She's such a great giver.

One day, I received some feedback : these two friends I sat with told me that they see me surrounded by people, children of all ages. I saw it too - I saw myself in the middle of a huge crowd - in a beautiful garden full of colourful flowers and tall trees. There was much love and laughter, and in the background, mom sat in her wheelchair smiling proudly.

Sounds so corny huh? Well, that was the picture in my mind.

It doesn't mean I will leave mom lonely though, I'll spend time with her - and because I'm not feeling guilty anymore, I can be fully present for her.

The day after I decided all this, I was cuddling Wabi Sabi in the chair next to her. Wasn't really saying much, and wasn't doing anything in particular for her, just relaxing with my fat cat. When I got up to go, she suddenly said "it's nice to have you home". And I thought, gee whizz, it's that easy? I was just relaxing. And she's happy? Amazing!

Anyway, I think my purpose (as I understand it now) is to reach out to people and make a difference. And 95% is a vehicle that can make that happen. So I will continue building 95%. I want it to be big and prosperous, with many trainers. And I will have free time to go home to relax with mom (and Wabi) ;)

That's my stairway to Heaven. Tell me, what's yours? What do you think your life purpose is (for now, anyway)?

12 Comments:

Blogger bala said...

hi dearest janet,
shits really happen ths days..
testing everyone. phisically and mentally..
u asked wats my purpose of life..
i hav no answer...
long ago.. life and death doesnt matter to me anymore.
in fact, if u ask if today is the end of the world,
wats ur biggest regretment that u hope u shd hav done it.. i dun hav... slowly, i realise that if i wld die tomorrow.. let it be, i hav no fear at all..
wat kept me goin thru all ths now.. is just because i do care abt ppl ard me.. i dun wan anyone to be sad becos of me..

i realise.. my purpose of life is to make everyone happy.. everyone ard me.. i will do my best to keep them happy..

i like wat u are doing.. making every graduates find their way.. making their path brighter.. making them knowing wat is most important in their life. and that is one thing i find common between u and me..
but of cos.. i'm not as great as u yet..

but do know.. no matter how great u are. one day if u are tired, remember, bala alwis thr to help :)

4:42 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

I just realised that my purpose in life is to fulfill my childhood dream. And that dream is to have just one day of peace in the world. I was thinking that every child that comes into this world has a pure and beautiful heart. And if they remain that way forever, how would the world be by now?

If i could make the world experience peace for one day, just for one day, what would it be like for them? How would they feel? Will they regret the things they do in the past? Will they promise the world a better tomorrow? Will they hold that promise? Will they start to empathize? Will they smile to each other regardless of skin colour, age and status? Or better still, will they say 'i love you' to the ones that they've taken for granted?

If i could reach a million people and tell them about my childhood dream, i'd be as happy as the small little girl i used to be. And advertising can reach millions. So dear Janet, i have a song for you, it's actually my mime song on my 3rd Weekend. Here are the lyrics. Let me know what you think about it.

If I Were You
You seem to find the dark when everything is bright
you look for all thats wrong instead of all thats right
does it feel good to you to rain on my parade
you never say a word unless its to complain
its driving me insane

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i'd do
is thank the stars for all that i have
if i were you

look what surrounds you now
more than you ever dreamed
have you forgotten just how hard it used to be
so whats it going to take
for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye
it happens all the time

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i’d do
is thank the stars above
tell the world i love that i do
if i were you

so whats it going to take
for you to realize
it all could go away in one blink of an eye
it happens all the time

if i were you
holding the world right in my hands
the first thing i’d do
is thank the stars above
for the world i love
take a breath and enjoy the view
live the life that i’ve wanted to
if i were you

5:50 PM  
Blogger Azraai said...

isnt that hoobastank's song?

11:37 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

Yeah it is....u should get their album. It's great.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Azraai said...

its not bad. It's actually a song about someone they toured with for their promotion of their album.

What's my purpose?

When i was 10 i thought my purpose was to be rich, smart and successful and charismatic like my mom and dad. I admired everything about them from how they present themselves and how their presence is felt when they enter a room. They radiate. And to be like that I have to be rich, smart and succesful.

When i was 19 after I finish High School and after a huge breakup with my ex, my purpose in life was to be successful in one area that I'm strong at, which is art & design. I thought by focusing all those energy i'm sure this would be a possible purpose i could achieve. Like Eminem says " if you put your mind into it anything could happen."

But if you ask me now, what's my purpose, my one utmost purpose for now, it would be to protect, care and love the people that are close to me. And I don't need advertising to do that as naive as it may sound.

9:41 AM  
Blogger copywritingstudent said...

Thanks Bala - I may just take you up on that one day.

Sue - I like the part about being grateful for all we have. It always amazes me how lucky I feel everytime I count my blessings. So treasure it before it goes away ... in the blink of an eye.

Thanks for sharing, guys - may your purpose be fulfilled to your heart and soul's content.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Bonnie said...

Aw, this is like One Vision all over again.

Have you watched M.Night's Lady In The Water? You should. it's all about ordinary people doing extraordinary things thus serving their purpose in life.

Suddenly I thought of you. :)

10:49 PM  
Blogger Joescher said...

What's my life purpose? Simple question yet so tough to be answer. Everytime I ask myself, I get confuse in the end.

Create a space for people around me to grow, fall, have fun, support and to learn from each other. (for now)

5:22 AM  
Blogger Daniel Ang said...

My purpose for life is to fulfill God's desire in me. If there's a path He signal me to go, it would be a task to obey.. cause He was and is my provider along the way.

hey, eversince 4 yrs ago, ileft mlcc.. i often think how would they feel without me.. after all the things they spent and sacrificed.. the love they poured. The blood that bond our love together is amazing isn't?

knowing you and the team is a huge blessing, Janet.. I've learned to see bigger picture. :)

2:10 AM  
Blogger Daniel Ang said...

sorry, was talking about my parents. did not state.. heh :P

2:18 AM  
Blogger copywritingstudent said...

Thanks Bonnie - I can't remember a Bonnie from One Vision though - did you use another name?

I love M. Night Syamalan's movies but haven't had time to watch Lady In The Water yet. Must catch it soon.

9:14 PM  
Blogger bala said...

bring me up?
sori a bit blur here...
up where???

4:36 PM  

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